Monday, August 17, 2009

Unconnected To My Past

I recently met an old college friend for coffee. She just moved to the Chicago suburbs a few weeks ago, so we both thought it would be nice to reconnect. It was great seeing her, no question about that, but I realized something... I am so unconnected to all my non-mom friends. I cannot relate to anyone who is very career oriented.

I don't think I can really blame my kids for this inability to relate to my friends. Even before having children I never wanted to be a career woman. I didn't want to go to graduate school, I didn't have a passion for my job, and I got myself stuck in a job that had absolutely no room to move up in. And I was ok with that. It wasn't until I had my children that I realized I was never meant to be career oriented. They are my career. They are my bosses, and quite demanding ones at that.

It was a bit awkward with this friend. Jordan kept climbing into her lap, and it was pretty obvious my friend is not used to being around children. I had to nurse Ben twice. All my sentences were stopped because of the children and I could not keep my train of thought. I had a good time, it was nice having a little bit of adult interaction... but I wonder if the promises to get together again will be held up. Have I lost enough of myself being a mom that my childless friends will steer clear of me, or am I so in love with being a mom that I only connect with mom friends??

That can't be true... I do have some friends from high school and college that I talk to on a fairly regular basis who aren't in committed relationships and are without children. Maybe it is because they are like me, and will one day find their true calling?? It makes me sad though, that I cannot relate to someone I used to talk to so much. Thankfully, through my children I have met (in person and online) some truly amazing women to fill the emptiness.


Kristi Noelle said...

You summed up my life! Great post!

Anonymous said...

I can relate to. I have given up trying to email a girl who use to be my best friend. She only lives 15 miles away. We just dont connect anymore. I find it much easier to connect with my friend who has kids. Funny thing is when I was not a mom and she was... I had a hard time connecting with her back then....