Thursday, August 28, 2008

Halfway there!


I am officially halfway through pregnancy. 20 weeks! Thought I would get a little racy and expose some skin for you all. =)

Sunday, August 24, 2008

Thursday, August 21, 2008

Dave

A few people asked me today how I am "holding up" since Dave left for boot camp so I thought I'd post and save myself the trouble of repeating myself (not that these particular people even read my blog... does anyone???). Anyway, I am ok. By ok I mean, some moments of the day I hardly think about it and some moments I feel as though my world is spiraling out of control. Here is my typical day in regards to Dave.

Mornings are easy. I am so busy trying to get Jordan and I ready and out the door that I don't think about anything else.

Walk from car to work is about 15-20 minutes depending on how bad ligament pain is (worse pain = slower I walk). I have yet to update my ipod in the past month... so I am left to walk by myself and my own thoughts at a time when no one else is going to appreciate a phone call (7:30am). So I think about Dave. I think about how this is what he did every morning last year after dropping me and Jordan off at work/daycare. I take my phone out of my purse and am about to hit "talk" to call Dave to help the time pass as I walk. But I can't. He's not going to answer his phone that is sitting, turned off, on our dining room table. I think about all the things I would be saying to him and wish I could write them down right then and there but I can't walk and write or it would take me forever to get to work... so many thoughts don't even make it onto paper for him to read.

8a-4p I work. I mostly try to concentrate on my tasks, but my mind wanders and I think about what he could possibly be doing at that moment. When I eat lunch I think about what Dave might be eating. I think about more things to say to him but I can't because he won't see my text message or email. Usually at some point I drop a letter in the mailbox for him if I completed one the night before.

4p-4:30p I walk to the car... usually more difficult than the morning walk because it is so hot. There are only so many people I can call to use up this time without getting on their case. So yet again I think about Dave and have to stop myself from calling him.

I pick Jordan up... resist the urge to call Dave and tell him how her day was (I used to do that every afternoon when he was in school since he often came home after she went to bed). Dinner time is pretty easy. After that I usually start to write a letter to Dave unless Jordan and I go out for a walk or over to my parents house. I think about him, but its usually fleeting.

Around 8pm Jordan goes to bed. I play a video of Dave reading her a book or tell her how much her daddy loves her and at that moment he's thinking of her and sending her lots of kisses. I usually tear up about now and my voice quivers. I wish desperately that he could kiss her goodnight.

Then I can't sleep. I shower, or do dishes or tidying up. But its hard to keep the tears away. I await anxiously by my phone, hoping maybe Dave will get to call for a few minutes. I keep it on my constantly. Loud volume and vibrate. But deep down I know he won't call. I know I won't get to tell my husband that I love him and I am glad he is my family. I regret not telling him this all the time before he left. I wish he could hold me and tell me that I am strong. There are so many things I want to tell him but can't in person, so I write to him. I tell him silly things about my day, boring things, anything that I think of I write until I can't write anymore. Then I try to sleep. My bed is so empty. I don't hear him snoring. I know I will just wake up tomorrow and he will still be gone.

I have gone one day in the past 8 days without crying. Everyone tells me it will get easier, and I am sure it will. In 8 weeks I will see him at his graduation. Then a few weeks after that I will drive to Virginia to bring him his computer, cell phone, tubas, whatever else he needs.
But in the mean time I have to be strong for my sake and Jordan's. I just keep telling her about her daddy and showing her pictures and videos so she won't forget.

And now that I am having a hard time seeing through my tears I will go.

Busy weekend ahead

Tomorrow Jordan and I leave for an adventure! This adventure begins with taking our cat, Alice, to the vet (which is always tricky as Alice becomes quite slippery when trying to get her into a carrier). Then we promptly return home and get into Grandma's car. Then (at lunch time) we drive to the airport. At nap time (1pm) we board a plane. Fly 1.5 hours while sitting on mommy's lap (which Jordan is not a fan of doing), arrive in Connecticut, then drive 2 hours to Wrentham, Mass (during dinner time). Sounds like fun... er, right?

Good news... all this is totally worth it. My cousin Andrea is getting married!!! Two other exciting things will happen. Jordan will meet the Jordan clan (haha!) and we'll both meet my other cousin, Kim's new baby Mac (Michael Anthony). I can't wait!! Keep your fingers crossed that Jordan behaves well and her Great-Aunt Ellen's house and doesn't break anything, torture dogs, or stick her fingers in electrical sockets.

Then repeat first paragraph (but reverse directions) on Sunday.

I have lots of new toys, stickers, crayons, snacks, etc ready to be packed into our backpack. Thankfully Grandma and Grandpa will be present the entire time. Also keep your fingers crossed that my sister is feeling better and able to fly tomorrow with my niece, Leah!

Pictures will (hopefully) be posted next week!

ETA: WE NEVER WENT!!! The flight got delayed multiple times then finally canceled. After much thought, I chose to not take a later flight for fear of a meltdown in the airport from sleepy toddler or mother... or both! I am so sorry that I couldn't make it as I was so looking forward to seeing everyone, but it just wasn't possible. Maybe if Dave was there to help I could have handled it, but I am just not strong enough to deal with that much stress in one day!

Sunday, August 17, 2008

IT'S A.....


BOY!!!



Unfortunately the ultrasound tech is not allowed (so she says) to print photos of boy bits, so we don't have a photo of them. We do have them on VHS though! (Seriously, who uses VHS anymore??). But here is our little guy at 18.5 weeks old. He was a stubborn thing, not cooperating for the tech, so we got a really long ultrasound (about an hour) while she tried to measure everything she was supposed to. I was shocked, but now I am utterly in love. My mom, who claims to hate buying boy clothes, has already bought lots for him. Of course!!

Friday, August 15, 2008

Debating between two evils

I thought a husband leaving for 9 months was bad. Things couldn't look more down, right? WRONG! Jordan's pedi decided since she keeps getting sent home from daycare for loose poop that we should get it tested. By we, he means ME. I have to collect 3 viles of poop this weekend. Did you know once you collect it, the samples are still good for 10 days? This is disgusting. I would much rather have my husband back, thank you very much!!!

Saturday, August 9, 2008

National Aviary

Dave, Jordan, and I went to the National Aviary today. We had a lovely time, Jordan LOVES the birds! I might buy a membership while Dave is gone and take Jordan when the weather is rainy or snowy so we always have something to do!



Jordan was VERY impressed with the eagles.




(ok, not so happy in this photo. It was near the end and past lunch time!)


video


Here is a video of 2 birds in the Wetlands exhibit. The one making all the noise is the male. He was trying to get his girlfriend's attention but she kept getting away from him (not in the video). At first Jordan was afraid of these birds, but then she warmed up to them. We were impressed with how persistent the male was... typical! Also, it took me about 30 seconds to realize Dave was taking a video. I kept smiling my cheesy camera smile because I thought he was taking photos! I'm such a dork!!!

18 Weeks Pregnant and Photo of Jordan


Monday I am 18 weeks pregnant (posting a picture now because I know I will forget on a weekday). Belly is definitely noticeable. We have our big ultrasound on Wednesday, just a few more days and we *hopefully* will find out the gender!!!


Here is an updated photo of Jordan. I love her in this dress...especially with bare feet. One, it makes her look like she belongs on a farm or on a prairie... so cute! Two, it is so much easier to change poopy diapers when there aren't any shorts or bloomers in the way. She is becoming such a toddler girl... no longer my baby!

Friday, August 1, 2008

Most Amazing Thing

I was so sure Dave wouldn't get to feel gummy bear #2 before he left... well... yesterday we both felt him/her!!! The baby gave a swift kick, punch, head butt, I don't know, but we both felt it. Utterly amazing!!!!

Updates

I have been a bit of a blogging slacker. First off, Jordan did NOT learn her lesson from the face bite... she bit at school the following day and once this week. Thankfully not a huge frenzy like some days... she's getting better. Second... I am officially showing now. 2 teachers at Jordan's daycare asked me if I was pregnant, and our computer guy at work noticed. =) Yay, I'm not longer just getting fatter!!! Thirdly, Jordan and I are about to have Dave to ourselves! The housework back at the old place is nearly done and Dave will have a little less than 2 weeks with us (starting Sunday) to eat,watch movies, play, go on outings... do whatever he wants to do before leaving for boot camp on August 15th. The next week and a half are crammed with OB appointment, ultrasound, Jordan's 18 month appointment, and our meeting with Dave's recruiter. PHEW!!

BTW, if you want to see an amazing blog post, check out my friend Boo's latest entry. Brought tears to my eyes!!!