Weight Challenge

Holidays always make me depressed about my weight. I get overwhelmed by the goodies and cannot escape them so I end up eating way too much for a period of time longer than the actual holiday. For example, Easter. My mom got enough chocolate for the entire county, and only Dave and I are here to eat it... of course we do! Then I tell myself I will get back on track eating-wise on Monday. But alas, I am thwarted at the office by everyone else's leftover goodies. Apparently I never got the memo that you don't start a diet on Easter Monday! Well excuuuuuuuse me. So I decided to start, again, today, thinking that everyone unloaded their leftovers yesterday. No such luck, boss found MORE chocolate that she wanted to get rid of.... and of course I ate it. I don't even LIKE peanut M&Ms!!! But that didn't stop me from eating handfuls now did it? So, for the third time this week, I will be starting my diet over tomorrow.

I told a friend yesterday to look at my blog so she could see the Easter photos of the baby, meanwhile I could remain lazy and not send the photos to her directly. She send me an email back saying "you're looking skinny as fuck. do you even eat anymore???" Well, yes, in fact I eat TOO much... hence why I have been juggling the same 5-6 pounds for the past 4 months. So I told my friend that I want to lose about 10 more pounds before I start trying to conceive baby #2 (yes, Dave and I have discussed this a lot recently!). My friend replies back saying "just don't understand when you say you want to lose another 10 lbs before you get pg. again...you're just gonna gain weight again anyway!?" Well, it makes sense to me! If I am a size 12 now, and I gain a good bit of weight during pregnancy (I gained 52 pounds last time!) then post-pregnancy I will be about a size 16. That disgusts me. However, if I can get down to a size 10 before getting pregnant, then a size 14 would be my fat pants post-pregnancy. Does this make sense to anyone else besides me??? With the last pregnancy I started off overweight and ended up a whooping 232 pounds the day Jordan was born. DISGUSTING!!! I had never even seen size 20 pants, but that's what I had to buy when I returned to work 7 weeks after Jordan was born. I never want to see those pants again! Nor 18, nor 16. I can deal with 14, and 12s are fine. But I'd love love love to fit into size 10 again! Oh to be skinny!!

So yes, my friend, I still need to lose a bit more weight. And starting tomorrow I am back on Weight Watchers program... now, where did I put those M&Ms.......