Sunday, June 13, 2010

Can I Do This Alone, Please?

I'm about to open up here, dear readers. This post is not about my children, husband, nor my cats, so you might want to click "next blog" if you are not in the mood to hear about a very embarrassing, personal story.

So I will admit that I grew up being slightly ashamed of my body and embarrassed about its functions. I never asked questions if I had them, which I didn't because I preferred to just be ignorant. So when I got my first period, on vacation with my parents, and my mom bought me pads, I just assumed that is what I have to use. I never asked her otherwise, and I never asked my older sister. Tampons were a weird and foreign concept in my mind and I didn't care to try them. Water sports were avoided certain times of the month... good thing I wasn't into competitive swimming!

Fast forward to my trip to Los Angeles last weekend. Day before we get on the plane my period arrives. So I think... Great, I promised Jordan a trip to the beach and using the hotel pool. I cannot get out of this whatsoever, she would be crushed! So I insist we find a store before going to the beach so I can buy my first ever box of tampons. I am 28 years old and have NO idea what I am doing. I feel like a 12 year old sneaking a tampon out of her mom's bathroom and reading the instructions. "If this is your first time using a tampon, relax". Ok... Got it... relax. You know what? I'm an idiot. Really? That was so NOT a big deal! One tampon and I am totally a converted user!!

Anyway, here comes the punchline to my personal story. We were on our way to dinner one evening, meeting up with husband's family the second night we were there. I have to use the rest room and take my daughter with me in case she needs to go too. We get into the stall and I take out a new tampon. My 3 year old, a stickler for rules that were set by anyone but mommy, sees me take the tampon out and starts yelling at me in the stall "NO SMOKING MOMMY! NO SMOKING!!" I assure her I am NOT smoking, and she stares at me as I change the tampon. As we leave the stall she asks "mommy, when are you going to take that out?"

Next month I am doing this ALONE!

1 comment:

Jenn said...

LOL That is hilarious!!!! The first time Lacey watched me put one in (she is hypnotized, which weirds me out) she said 'Mommy, those aren't good for little girls!'

Thank the Lord she said that, cause I can only imagine walking in the bathroom to see her 'trying to be like mommy.' Shew!