Sunday, June 26, 2011

Stalled

I am still taking photos every day, but I am FAR behind on getting them up on the blog since I can only use my phone camera.  Our real camera broke.  To be more specific, we lost the battery charger.  Even if we COULD find the charger, we still could  not use the camera because a certain toddler spilled juice on the camera so the shutter no longer opens. 

But we are still around, still busy, still snapping photos when we remember, and occasionally videos.  But my whole existence seems to be stalled right now.  Aside from day to day functionality, everything else is ignored. The kids are a handful due to chilly temps and lots of drizzle and massive amounts of pent up energy.  I don't have much help since my husband is working nearly every day and not regular business hours.  So I do what needs to be done to keep them happy and fed, but that's about it.  After that I can't seem to muster the energy to focus on me or our house.  Minimal cleaning is done... enough to keep us clothed, ants away, and visitors not disgusted. 

I don't intend this to be a venting post... I'm not really sure what my intentions are at the moment.  Kids are entertaining themselves and I have found myself having a few free moments to let my mind ramble on, and my fingers seem to be following suit!  That seems to be happening a lot lately, the mind wandering, keeping me up at night thinking about all I wanted to accomplish but didn't, thinking about all I am ignoring, lists of things I want to do but just don't have the energy to do.  I've been here several times before... sometimes harmless, others...well, lets just say interventions were in order (don't worry, nothing like that now!!).  But that fear of "oh gosh...I don't want to go down this road again" are creeping back into my mind as it goes around in circles.  So long as I can keep the day to day going smoothly, things will get back on track, or so I hope!

But right now, with that "single married mom" feeling going on, it is a little difficult to get myself grounded and put my foot down and yell "this is ENOUGH! Go do what you need to do already!!"  So stalled is a good word for me and my life right at this moment.

2 comments:

Holly said...

I totally understand the whole "ignoring the house" thing...there is enough dust on my dresser to...well...I'm too tired to think of something witty.

katiebear said...

Thanks... I'm tired too! Thankfully I will have houseguests beginning of august, so that will FORCE me to get some good cleaning in!!