Musical Dilemma

I am having a dilemma. I love music, I always have. I especially love playing with groups of people and having fun with music. Since October I returned to the community band that I played in before I became pregnant. I like this band a lot and have never been disappointed playing in it. The past few months I have been having mixed feelings about continuing in the band. Once I get to rehearsals, I have fun, and I enjoy playing the concerts. I like feeling like I belong and am needed. I like making music and not abandoning my passion. However, I dread leaving the house. I dread leaving Jordan. I hate that my husband is finally at home and I have to leave. I hate having to stick to a strict schedule on Mondays (rehearsal days) so that I can get there in time. I hate having to find a sitter for the concerts. I have actually been developing some anxiety over leaving Jordan with other people and I know I will be a mess this coming Sunday, our next concert. Is the gratification I get from playing with a group of people worth the tears and anxiety I face every week? I don't even get to practice because Jordan is not a fan of mommy's music, so I am not making improvements in between rehearsals, and I don't feel I play my best at concerts. It sucks big time. I wish there was a middle ground but I either hate it or love it. Right now I am leaning towards not returning after this upcoming concert. I fear once I quit I will never have an outlet to play music again...

Am I doing the right thing by not returning? I hope so....