400th Post!

Since January 23, 2008, I have written 400 blog posts!  CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?

Yeah yeah... I would have hit 400 ages ago had I been a more consistent blogger.  But hopefully I have some regular followers by now who are forgiving of my laziness?  Maybe??

If you regularly read my blog, I'd love to hear from you.  Seriously, I have no idea who reads this.  I promise I won't stalk you or bug you with questions or bounce ideas off of you.  I just want to see if I am getting lost out there in blog world.  (but if you do have suggestions or critiques, I'd LOVE to hear them!!)  Obviously don't tell me something like I need crazy graphics or to change html because, in reality, there is only so much a partially computer-illiterate broke person can do!

Anyway, back to the number 400.  It's amazing how my life has changed over those 400 posts.  I added another kid to the family.  My husband got his masters degree, joined the Navy, we moved to Great Lakes, daughter started preschool, sister moved to Houston, mom had major back surgery, etc etc etc.  It's been a rough but wonderful few years.

Yet, over all that time, I still feel like I haven't quite found my blog niche.  (Here's where your suggestions can really come in handy!!)  Should I take the navy band wife approach?  I really don't have much to say on that respect.  Most of the recipes I make aren't my own, so that's kind of lame.  I'm a half-assed crafter (ie, I don't finish half the projects I start!).  So, yeah, you can see why I am still feeling a bit lost out here.

6th Wedding Anniversary!

This day EXACTLY I married my husband.

6 years ago today was a Monday.  He took off school and I took off work and we headed down to the local judge's office.  The building was next to the bowling alley I went to as a teen.  It was next to the movie theater where I had my first job (aside from babysitting).  The building also used to be a little ice cream shop where my camp (then high school) friend Rifka used to work.

Stepping into this building, holding my soon to be husband's hand was nothing but WEIRD!  We signed in, handed the clerk our paperwork, and waited for our turn to enter the judge's chambers (really, just a small room with some chairs!).  While we waited a large man with a loud voice barged into the waiting room and announced "I WANT TO SUE SOMEBODY!" We were called back to the judge's chambers before we could hear who was being sued and why. 

It is amazing that one small, hidden space, among many other small businesses, can hold so much energy, memories, and emotions.  Every time I go back home and am driving around the city I grew up in, I always find myself driving by that building at least once.  I wonder if that person actually sued another person.  I wonder if the Polaroid the judge snapped is still hanging on the wall of other eloped couples.  I wonder how many of those couples made it to 6 years like I have. 

One question I NEVER ask myself is "did I make the right decision".  I have no doubt in my mind that walking into that building was the best decision I have ever made.  I am looking at my husband right now, sitting in silence while the children are sleeping (hopefully), and I don't have negative thought about that man running through my mind.  I'm not saying he's perfect, I am not delusional (much...) but I know that we are a prefect fit!

I hope the next year is just as amazing as this past one!

Stalled

I am still taking photos every day, but I am FAR behind on getting them up on the blog since I can only use my phone camera.  Our real camera broke.  To be more specific, we lost the battery charger.  Even if we COULD find the charger, we still could  not use the camera because a certain toddler spilled juice on the camera so the shutter no longer opens. 

But we are still around, still busy, still snapping photos when we remember, and occasionally videos.  But my whole existence seems to be stalled right now.  Aside from day to day functionality, everything else is ignored. The kids are a handful due to chilly temps and lots of drizzle and massive amounts of pent up energy.  I don't have much help since my husband is working nearly every day and not regular business hours.  So I do what needs to be done to keep them happy and fed, but that's about it.  After that I can't seem to muster the energy to focus on me or our house.  Minimal cleaning is done... enough to keep us clothed, ants away, and visitors not disgusted. 

I don't intend this to be a venting post... I'm not really sure what my intentions are at the moment.  Kids are entertaining themselves and I have found myself having a few free moments to let my mind ramble on, and my fingers seem to be following suit!  That seems to be happening a lot lately, the mind wandering, keeping me up at night thinking about all I wanted to accomplish but didn't, thinking about all I am ignoring, lists of things I want to do but just don't have the energy to do.  I've been here several times before... sometimes harmless, others...well, lets just say interventions were in order (don't worry, nothing like that now!!).  But that fear of "oh gosh...I don't want to go down this road again" are creeping back into my mind as it goes around in circles.  So long as I can keep the day to day going smoothly, things will get back on track, or so I hope!

But right now, with that "single married mom" feeling going on, it is a little difficult to get myself grounded and put my foot down and yell "this is ENOUGH! Go do what you need to do already!!"  So stalled is a good word for me and my life right at this moment.

Dear Movie Producers/Directors/To Whom It May Concern

The past two nights my husband and I watched Avatar.  Yes, TWO nights.  We got about halfway through it Monday night, and decided we had to go to bed.  It was 9:30pm.  We resumed last night and again, finished around 9:30 and headed up to bed.

Maybe we are lightweights... but maybe, just maybe, that movie was too dang long!  Don't get me wrong, I liked it.  But I probably would have liked it more had I been able to watch it in a theater. 

Why couldn't I watch it in a theater, you might be asking me.  Well, since my husband and I are the only two people on this planet who can put our son to bed, that means we cannot leave our house any earlier than 7:30pm. Which also means we are shooting for an 8:30 movie.  If we go to an 8:30 movie that is THREE hours long, we won't be leaving the movie theater until 11:45 (giving 15 minutes for previews).  Then drive home, then feed cats, clean up, go to bed.  That means, probably going to bed past 12:30am.  Our kids wake up at 6.  By my calculations, that is not a lot of sleep. 

Hollywood needs to have a time limit for movies.  2 hours tops, in my opinion (maybe 2.5 for exceptional movies).  As much as I dislike the 7th Harry Potter book being put into two movies, at least then less is lost from the books but I don't have to be in the theater ALL freakin night!  I am willing to pay the price of waiting a year to see the two movies. 

Although seeing Lord Of The Rings in theater was AWESOME, I didn't have kids then.  So it wasn't such a big deal.  Now that I am a mom, sadly I can only watch those long movies at home, which totally looses the cool effect.  Avatar was kinda lame on my tv and no movie theater popcorn and candy!

So please do me, and many moms out there a favor, movie makers... and make your movies shorter!

Thanks.

Rant over now!

Things About Me You Might Not Know

1. Three names you go by: Kate, Mommy, KJ
   
2. Three facts about yourself: I am addicted to my Iphone, I still own lots of VHS (and watch them), I love to read
3. Three things that happened today: I made pizza, I got chased by my two year old who was pretending to be a dragon, My kids played nicely for 40 minutes so I could work out
   
4. Three favorite songs right now: I have no idea.... I haven't listened to my own music in awhile!
5. Three breakfast foods you enjoy: Pancakes, French Toast, Turkey bacon
   
6. Three things on your current to-do list: Clean the bathrooms, take boxes of clothes/toys to Salvation Army, meal plan for next week
   
7. Three colors you like: blue, green, purple
   
8. Three words you think others would use to describe you: friendly, busy, bake-a-holic
   
9. Three objects you can’t be without: cell phone, baby wipes, wallet
   
10. Three ways to win your heart: sense of humor, like my children, like my fat lazy cat
    
11. Three favorite movies: "The Princess Bride", "Nightmare Before Christmas", "28 days"
12. Three appetizers you enjoy: mozzarella sticks, chili cheese fries, chicken nachos
    
13. Three places you’ve lived: Pennsylvania, Illinois, Australia
    
14. Three important people in your life: Dave, Jordan, Ben
    
15. Three things you want to say to three different people: I miss you, I think of you even though we don't talk often, Call me!
    
16. Three that made you happy today: kisses from my children, good/healthy meals, watching my husband play with our children
    
17. Three things you want to do before you die: travel out of the states with my husband, own a house, make a bedsize quilt
    
18. Three favorite TV shows: Dexter, Xfiles, South Park
19. Three home-cooked meals you enjoy: Baked Mac and Cheese, Pizza, BBQ pulled pork
    
20. Three things the world would be better without: Fast food, violence, ignorance
    
21. Three of your guilty pleasures: Starbucks, buying things my kids really want, eating cookies out of the kids' cookie jar
22. Three things you are afraid of: fire, something bad happening to my children, dying while my children are young
    
23. Three places you want to visit: Australia, Italy, South Africa
    
24. Three things you do before you go to bed: Play Words With Friends, feed the cats, tidy up the kitchen
    
25. Three favorite books: Harry Potter series, Hunger Games series, To Kill A Mockingbird
26. Three types of deserts you enjoy: chocolate cake, edy's girl scout limited edition ice cream, peanut butter cookies
    
27. Three crazy things you wouldn’t mind doing: um, I dunno, I'm not crazy anymore =)
28. Three things you like about yourself: my creativity... (um... this one is difficult! It shouldn't be....)
    
29. Three things that you look for in a partner: humor, loving, accepting
    
30. Three life lessons you’ve learned so far: we can get through anything, mistakes happen and sometimes they are for the better, patience is definitely something you have to be aware of all the time or you will lose it instantly
    
31. Three ways you bid farewell: bye, see ya, love ya!
    

Technology Overload

I love technology. I love that I can talk to all my mommy friends from around the world via my computer. I love that family and friends can talk to us through video chat. I love my iPhone. I love my Wii and instant watch on my big TV. I can keep in contact with everyone via Facebook. I love reading books on my Nook anywhere I go and not worrying about children pulling out my book mark or tearing pages.

I DO NOT however, love preschoolers throwing tantrums over wanting to play on my phone. I do not love children fighting over the tv "I WANT TO WATCH SCOOBY DOO" "NOOOOO... I WATCH THOMAS!!!".... I do not love my husband oblivious to the family because he is absorbed in his game of Civilization on his phone.

I have yet to figure out a balance with all this lovely technology. How much tv is too much when I really just want 30 minutes to myself or to be able to cook dinner or bake without kids screaming at me. When should I stop them from playing on the phones and interact with us. Should I buy that Thomas book for my nook for my son.

I think back on my childhood, I didn't get my first video game until I was in 7th grade, and even then it was only tetris for our computer. I didn't have cable, netflix, game consoles, first cell phone was a clunker when I went off to college. My kids are better at video games than I am and they are only 3.5 and nearly 2! Of course, I has about 1/5 of the toys my kids have too.

Right now my daughter is watching tv, my son is reading his books, and my husband is practicing. I am blogging. Should I turn off the computer and tv and be a more "attentive" mother? The guilt-o-meter rises by the minute every time I get on the computer. Yet I keep doing it. I wonder if every mother judges themselves like I do. Constantly wondering how my mother got by without all this, how she got the house clean, children happy, family fed, and kept her sense of self without the aide of a million gadgets.

How do you all keep control of the technology in your households? Do you give in like I do or keep it under lock and key, only to be used in extreme cases?

My Craigslist Etiquette Checklist

Please excuse me while I vent a little about recent Craigslist issues I've been having with sellers and buyers. (most importantly, the last item)

1. Please post pictures. I know that this isn't necessary, but really, I will not even look at a post if there isn't a picture.

2. If your item is sold, please delete your listing. It would save you the hassle of having to respond to my inquiry, and it would save me the time and disappointment.

3. Please check your spam folder. You are having strangers respond to your listings. Their emails will go into your spam folder.

4. If you want to buy my item, please show up when we arrange to meet. I have children, a husband, a busy schedule arranged around these three people. I am obviously staying home for you and could be doing other important or fun things. Don't mess with me, be kind. Show up when you say you will.

5. Most importantly... IF SOMEONE WANTS TO BUY YOUR ITEM AND YOU ARRANGE A MEETING TIME... DO NOT SELL THE ITEM OUT FROM UNDER ME!!!! That is just rude. I understand you do not know who I am, and don't know if I am a total flake. However, if I cannot meet you right away because my husband is WORKING and cannot be home with the sleeping children, please give me the common curiosity of not selling the item I really wanted when I cannot be at your house. It hurts my feelings. Obviously if I am buying your item used I cannot afford it new. And now I just want to send you an angry hate mail because I am furious. Instead I will vent on my blog and eat way too many chocolate mint chocolate chip cookies.

Write Pink

Today is Blog For Your Breasts Day. Today I sit and think about the survivors I know. Today I sit and think about all those women who do not survive. I think about how we are all affected by breast cancer.

Today I think about those who suffer in silence, because they have no family to support them or are selfless and do not want their families to worry.

Today I think about my family. I think about my aunt who called my mom one day and told her she had a mastectomy. She was already home from the hospital. She had no one there to hold her hand when she heard the news. No one drove her to the hospital or brought her home. No one cooked meals for her when she wasn't feeling well.

I think about why she did this. To not want her sister to worry, to drop everything and fly across the country to help her. This is not how it should have happened. But it is what she felt was right.

Today I think about how history of cancer in my family might affect me or my daughter. Will I have to make that call one day to my husband or sister or daughter to tell them that I have breast cancer? Will I tell the world or hold it in for myself to deal with? Either decision takes a lot of courage.

Breast cancer takes courage. To face something so serious, I cannot imagine.

Please think about your family and friends who have been affected by breast cancer. Give them extra hugs today for beating this horrible disease.

If you have a blog, share your experiences. By sharing, there is no silence, denial, or loneliness. There is strength, determination, and courage.

Approaching The End Of A Decade

In a few days I will be turning 29. As usual, having an autumn birthday makes me the last of my friends to reach a milestone. Most of my friends have posted on Facebook their woes of turning 29, how sad they are that this is their last year in their 20s. Some are embracing it and some are distraught.

I think for some people, turning 29 makes them reflect on their lives. Are they in the career of their dreams? Have they found their soul mates? Do they have enough children? As if turning 30 means you will be stuck in a job you never wanted, you won't be married, and you can never have children. I do not think 30 means what we think it means anymore. 30 is like the new 20. Reaching 30 means your life has just begun. All the drudgery of your 20s is over, you can get your dream job, settle down, and start your family.

For me, being 29 means nothing. Turning 30 next year means I am just a year older. I don't work full time, so I am not worried about my career. I still have a few years until I even consider a part time job. I am married to the best guy out there (just being a little biased of course!). And then I have my beautiful children, and know that I will not be adding on to the clan.

In fact, now that I think about it... what do I have going for the rest of my life? I seemed to have done it all by 29. Well, not quite. I am looking forward to the year 2014 when my younger child begins school full time and I can pursue new hobbies or a career with my acquired free time. I can say easily that I will be looking forward to that milestone! But for the next few years, I'll just keep going along my merry way, filling my days with preschool pickup/drop off, stroller exercise classes, cooking, and playdates.

5 Years

Today is my five year marriage anniversary. Five years ago, I pledged to be the wife, best friend, confidant, companion, and provide unconditional support for my husband. I couldn't have picked a better man to want to spend the rest of my life with.

Our lives have been filled with a lot, it has not been particularly easy, emotionally or financially. But what marriage is perfect? Despite our disagreements, our hardships, our disappointments, we have found unconditional love, we have created two beautiful children, we have found rainbows in the storms.

I know that with my husband by my side, I can be anything and do anything I put my heart to. I know he will support my decisions in regards to our children, our household, my life. I know that when I am being ridiculous and irrational he will tell me, not because he thinks I am in the wrong, but because he cares.

We have grown from geeky band members in high school to lovers in college to best friends and partners in our later 20s. We have learned how to tolerate each others's little annoyances, how to share our spaces, what each other likes to eat, drink, listen to, what clothes we prefer to wear. We have been blessed with two children who continue to fill our hearts with more joy than we could have ever imagined.

I know we still have bumpy roads ahead of us. Many more stressful moves, more losses, more heartache. But there is always a flip side. Each move brings us another chance at rebuilding what we leave behind, chances to fix our mistakes. Each loss and heartache strengthens our bonds, reminds us what love is and why it is so important.

I love my husband. I would chose him again and again to be with me. Thank you, husband, for choosing me. I will continue to ensure you made a good choice too!

Eating My Words

There are things I have said in the past, when I was childless, that I SWORE I would never do when I had children. When you are an adult but without children it is so easy to comment on parenting. Little do you know that being a parent is entirely different!

I am about to embark on the long drive from the Chicago area to Pittsburgh with my two small children all on my own. A very frightening thought, in my mind. So my husband decided it was time to buy dual screen portable DVD player. You know, the portable DVD player I SWORE we would never buy because I grew up doing long car trips and NEVER needed one myself? Yeah, that same DVD player just spent 10 hours in the car for a test run. And my goodness, am I glad we purchased them. I have never heard the back seat so pleasant for so long.

So here I sit, tired from the long drive, eating my words. I am sure another situation will happen again soon where I will be feasting again!

Can I Do This Alone, Please?

I'm about to open up here, dear readers. This post is not about my children, husband, nor my cats, so you might want to click "next blog" if you are not in the mood to hear about a very embarrassing, personal story.


So I will admit that I grew up being slightly ashamed of my body and embarrassed about its functions. I never asked questions if I had them, which I didn't because I preferred to just be ignorant. So when I got my first period, on vacation with my parents, and my mom bought me pads, I just assumed that is what I have to use. I never asked her otherwise, and I never asked my older sister. Tampons were a weird and foreign concept in my mind and I didn't care to try them. Water sports were avoided certain times of the month... good thing I wasn't into competitive swimming!

Fast forward to my trip to Los Angeles last weekend. Day before we get on the plane my period arrives. So I think... Great, I promised Jordan a trip to the beach and using the hotel pool. I cannot get out of this whatsoever, she would be crushed! So I insist we find a store before going to the beach so I can buy my first ever box of tampons. I am 28 years old and have NO idea what I am doing. I feel like a 12 year old sneaking a tampon out of her mom's bathroom and reading the instructions. "If this is your first time using a tampon, relax". Ok... Got it... relax. You know what? I'm an idiot. Really? That was so NOT a big deal! One tampon and I am totally a converted user!!

Anyway, here comes the punchline to my personal story. We were on our way to dinner one evening, meeting up with husband's family the second night we were there. I have to use the rest room and take my daughter with me in case she needs to go too. We get into the stall and I take out a new tampon. My 3 year old, a stickler for rules that were set by anyone but mommy, sees me take the tampon out and starts yelling at me in the stall "NO SMOKING MOMMY! NO SMOKING!!" I assure her I am NOT smoking, and she stares at me as I change the tampon. As we leave the stall she asks "mommy, when are you going to take that out?"

Next month I am doing this ALONE!

What Do You Get Kids That Have It All?

If a stranger walked into our house, she would think we spent a fortune on our children's play things. They have more toys than 2 children probably need. But I promise you, my readers, that we haven't spent all that much, even if you include furniture. We have been blessed by generous family, friends, freecycle, and craigslist for hand-me-downs. Except for presents bought by friends and family for holidays and birthdays, everything else is a hand-me-down, even presents bought by us (of which there aren't many) I purchased used.

Ben... oh my sweet little boy. I felt horrible when I declared that our poor second child would never get a new toy because he'd always have his sister's toys. There is not a single toy or book or even crib sheets in his room which were bought by us for him. I think I bought him a shirt he wore last week.... Anyway, it obvously has not damaged him yet. And I am certainly NOT concerned. Here is our most recent find for our dear little boy. This was a freecycle item, which was said to be not in working order. We replaced the batteries and it works fine. It is now residing in his bedroom after we took the rocker out (what a sad day... he's getting so grown up!). He is ticked off in the photo because he didn't want to share with his sister.


Jordan has lots of awesome toys, again, most not bought by us. Even her mattresses are freecycle items. Great condition twin mattress and box spring... can't say no to that!! Here is our most recent find for her room. Little Tikes Winnie the Pooh treehouse. Seriously? Someone just GAVE this away?! We were THRILLED to get this item and it is a huge hit with both children.



This last photo is something I purchased for the kiddos today off of a local website similar to craigslist. It is a blow up Go Diego ball bit. Ben's FAVORITE toys at the moment are balls, any size, doesn't matter to him. He will probably go nuts when he wakes tomorrow morning and sees this!! We got it 1/3 the price... and I plan on selling some toys to make up for the cost, so we'll break even. Totally worth it!


I love my children... and I love to see them happy. I hope that they understand material posessions to not make a person happy, and I will continue to teach them to appreciate what they have. However, I do want them to have fun, and am fortunate enough to find great things for them for free or incredibly inexpensive, things my husband and I did not have, like play houses and train tables (again... GAVE that away?!).

And if you haven't already, I suggest check out your local freecycle community , not just to score awesome finds for yourself, but to give back and maybe help another person find items they wouldn't be able to afford. Also, freecycle helps keep our unwanted stuff out of landfills. You know what they say, one man's trash is another man's treasure!

I Still Exist...Promise!

I feel like it has been awhile since I last blogged. Not really sure what I've been up to that has kept me away from my computer, certainly not housework! But lately I find myself not at the computer as much, some days it doesn't even turn on. That's not to say I'm totally out of touch electronically, I still check email and facebook statuses through my iPhone. When I find some creative motivation I will post a more snazzy, interesting blog post, but for now, you will just have to be content with a photo. Here are my two precious children spending a moment NOT fighting, NOT yelling, NOT biting each other. In other words, mother's paradise!!

Litter Bugs

I try to be a good role model for my children. I try to teach them about being environmentally friendly. I recycle, I try to re-use things like egg cartons, plastic bags, cardboard. I use cloth diapers 50% of the time. Obviously there is a LOT more I could do for the environment and to teach my children, but I figure this is a good start.

One lesson I have taught my daughter is to never throw trash on the ground. This lesson as obviously sunk in. Since all the snow is melting, we can now see the ground. Which means she can now see all the trash...everywhere. Do you know how heartbreaking it is to hear your 3 year old daughter say "what's that mommy? Is that trash? Oh No! Trash goes in the can not on ground!!" And she doesn't say it once. In typical toddler fashion she says it over, and over, and over again. It BREAKS MY HEART every time she says it. If you ask her how it makes her feel to see trash on the ground, she says "sad".

How hard is it to hold onto something until you see a trash can? I don't think it is terribly difficult. If you can hold onto your McD's cup to drink your soda, then you can hold onto it a few minutes longer until you see a trash can.

Today we went to a mom and child play group program at the local pre-k/kindergarten school. It is only 2 blocks from our house so I decided we would walk. The entire way there my daughter talked about the trash on the ground. We couldn't walk more than 6 inches without seeing a bottle, wrapper, or paper bag on the ground. We could have filled a trash bag with how much we saw on each side of the road.

I have been left in a sad mood all day because of what I saw this morning. People who do not care one little bit about our planet, who are too lazy to pick up after themselves, and who think whatever is the most convenient action for them is the best, make me sick.